Alf

The heavy snow that hung around for what seemed like ages wasn’t bad news for everyone.

The problem with relying on electric fencing is that more intelligent animals quickly work out when the power is off and Alfie, our young boar, is turning out to be brighter than the average pig.

So, when the snow lay deep and crisp and even, Alf worked out faster than the pig farmer that the bottom strand of the fence was buried and therefore shorting out. As a result the fence gave him only the slightest tickle as he waltzed through into Little Kim’s paddock.

The first I knew about it was at morning feed time when I noticed Alf emerge from Little Kim’s hut looking pretty happy with himself. Little Kim followed soon after, looking a little dazed and with tell-tale muddy footprints all over her back.

I’d been planning to put Alf in with her anyway so I took the fence down and left them to it and they’ve been getting on fine.

Alf’s first attempt clearly failed to hit the target as three weeks later Little Kim was letting him mount her again. It’s nothing to panic about as he’s only nine months old and he’s still a fair bit smaller than her (a box would help the whole process) and it may be a case of him not quite having the. . . err. . . reach.

Of course, it’s possible he’s firing blanks, but that’s something I’d prefer not to think about. Little Kim was due to come into season this week and I noticed she growled at him when he sniffed at her rear end the other day, so maybe she’s in pig. . . or maybe not.

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4 Responses to Alf

  1. Richard says:

    Just what I need. A healthy dose of porcine porn just before I make the Horlicks

  2. Z says:

    My mother used to work on a farm and said that there was a pig that kept getting out, although nothing seemed wrong with the electric fence. Eventually, they heard it squealing, from inside its field. Shouting in apparent pain, it rushed at the fence, squeezed through and quietly trotted away on the other side. It knew it would hurt, but reckoned it was worth it.

  3. Yorkshire Pudding says:

    I am not sure that porcine pornography is allowed in the blogosphere. You left little to the imagination. If a boar could speak one of his best chat up lines might be “Fancy a bacon sandwich dear?”

  4. Frith says:

    When I was a kid our neighbour’s lab had puppies with a chihuahua. Always wondered how that was possible… This talk of porcine porn and pork sandwiches is just disturbing.

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